People

The longest running friendship that I have had, outside of my family, began when I was 29 in 1971.  That was the year we opened our architectural design office.  That was also the year I met a man people referred to as “G.A.”  He had called me, after a recommendation from a mutual friend, to tell me he was thinking about a new building for his growing business.  That phone call started a business relationship that quickly expanded into a personal friendship that grew stronger over time, and continued for 45 years until his death in 2016.

To say that G.A. was an interesting personality would be way understated.  He had such a broad range of interests that he was almost like several people in the same complex package.  But when he was focused on a given endeavor he was like a ‘force of nature:’ boisterous, demanding, forceful, with very little nuance.  He was not a large man, not often given to physical violence, but his habit of using crude, often vile, language, made it easy to see why he did not have a great many personal friends among his many business acquaintances.  In fact, he had alienated several contacts over the years, and always carried a handgun in his car glove box.

On one occasion when we were coming back to my office after lunch, he pulled in front of another driver.  That young man became irate, swerved around us, jammed on his brakes, and stormed back to the driver’s side of our car.  That angry driver appeared to be a little over five feet tall, weighed about 120 pounds.  He began to berate G.A. about his driving habits, G.A. listened for a minute, then started reaching toward the glove box.  I told him to wait a minute and began to get out of the car.  I had no intention of being mean to the young man, certainly not confronting him, I just wanted to explain to him what he was about to encounter.  But when I got out of the car, I guess he got the wrong idea.  I out-weighed him about 100 pounds, was a foot taller, he wheeled around, ran back to his car, and got out of that parking lot as quickly as he could.  G.A. laughed at me and asked if I didn’t think he had it under control.  I told him I was simply trying to keep him from getting into some serious trouble.

G.A. was smart, quick witted, never told jokes, but he could laugh.  At times, he was a warm, engaging gentleman, with a big heart, and a sincere, generous spirit.  I’m convinced the Lord sent him across our pathway at that time to encourage us financially, and make our new business endeavor a success.  The relationship with G.A. and his wife and sons became more than just a business.  In spite of the difference in our ages, we had several things in common: we both were from Indiana, both of us had two sons, we enjoyed hunting, fishing, the outdoors.  While we were designing that first building, he wanted us to share in the experiences he and his wife were having in the process.  They invited both of us to go with them to Atlanta to look at furniture and fixtures.  They put us up in the finest hotel, ate at the finest restaurants, and enjoyed a couple days of luxury away from the office.  In time, we would visit them in their home and talk for several hours.

G.A.’s business was very successful.  He bought a sport fishing yacht, and an airplane, later upgraded to a luxury propjet.  He invited me on several hunting and fishing trips to Canada, Chesapeake Bay Maryland, South Dakota, Arkansas, Colorado, Florida, Gulf Shores, New Orleans, the Bahamas.  He kept his boat at a marina at Chub Cay during the winter, and at Orange Beach, in the summer.  G.A. loved his airplane and his boat, and he loved taking people flying to various places, and deep-sea fishing in his fifty-foot boat.  He was a genuine, country boy success story, and wanted to share his rewards with as many as he could.  

Over the years we worked together on several projects for him.  In addition to his original building, we designed several additions and alterations for it.  We helped him and his wife design their new home.  We designed new homes for both of their sons and their families.  G.A. was always very generous and quick to pay us for what we did.  If he thought we didn’t bill him for enough, he would add something to our invoice, sometimes thousands of dollars.    

One factor which helped build our relationship was our common interest in Indiana, which was often the subject of our conversations.  Gradually, I was able to glean small glimpses into his early life.  His parents were divorced when he was a child, and living with his father, he became rebellious and uncontrollable.  Barely a teenager, he was thrown out of the house by his father and was taken in as another son by his aunt and uncle.  In later years he experienced the irony met by many adults: his estranged father needed help to get through his waning years, G.A. invited him to move down to Huntsville where he would get him a mobile home and park it on the property with his business.  In my frequent contacts with this irascible old man, I learned why G.A. and his dad could not survive for long living under the same roof.

And then there came a day in the mid ‘90s when G.A. called me to talk about a particular subject.  I don’t recall what it was, but he soon came around to the real reason for his call.  It came across as a sort of ‘Oh, by the way’ he had started going to church with his wife.  He explained that she had been attending there for quite some time and had finally prevailed on him to go with her.  Right, it was all her idea.  But around that time I also noticed a change in his behavior, particularly his language.  I never ‘preached’ at G.A., I just tried to accept him as he was, love him as the Lord would, pray for him, and live a good witness before him..

G.A. was plagued by health issues, heart disease, including several bypass surgeries, and other ailments.  Sometime around 1999-2001 he developed cancer, and the chemotherapy program seemed to have a positive effect, going into remission.  Every few weeks he called to invite me to lunch somewhere, and we would have our usual friendship talks. By then there were no more projects, no more fishing trips, or airplane rides, just talk about pet scans, blood tests, heart medications, and family.  Then, there were no more lunches or in-person visits, just phone calls.  And the calls kept getting further apart.  One call that was sure to come every year was what he called his ‘Christmas call.’  In December, 2015 he sounded very weak as he updated me on his tests, asked about my health, and we wished each other a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

I didn’t hear from him for several months until one day in July of ’16.  My phone lit up with his name and I answered with my usual “G.A.”  On the other end I heard his son tell me that his dad had suffered a fatal heart attack the day before.  G.A. was gone at age 87.  A long friendship had ended.  How quickly 45 years can pass.